Posted by Tobias Sternmorgan on Feb. 10, 2020, midnight
Valentine's? Grrr! Don' tell me yer caught up in this whole lovey-dovey holiday too, pirate!
Every year at this time, ye bunch a' soft-bellied lubbers get all choked up about hearts an' flowers! Makes an old salt's stomach twist like a whirlpool! An' I suppose'n yer gonna' ask fer shore leave that whole February 10th - 16th week, eh?
Buy yourself some frilly Valentine’s Day outfit at the Peddlers?
Are you gonna' see that Erin Amorous fella' at the Rowdy Rooster on Port Royal and take up some romantic quest? And fer what? Ta' help that poor sod, Sid Tackem? Just to get some Valentine’s Heart Grenade? That girl Dedrie Dunham is outta' his league anyway.
Bad enough ye got all these lovesick pirates runnin' about makin' /flirt gestures at each other! A real pirate has na need a' such silly games. If th' pick of th' litter is right in front a' yer nose, jus' tell'em 'stead a' makin' some old pick-up line!
As fer me, th' sea be my mistress an' cool jug a' rum be my best companion!