Posted by Jesse Tidus on June 30, 2019, 9:30 a.m.
The Fourth of July event is here, and your favorite ravishing pirate is back on the gorgeous shores of Tortuga! No, not to dazzle the lassies -- I do that regardless of where I am -- but to celebrate the very core of my being! That would be my rugged pirate nature, of course. This special day is all about celebrating our escape from the Navy! Rejecting the word of the oppressive government and its tyrants, like my father!
...Oh, him? Ah, well, about that ... what's say you buy me a drink first? Or four?
Ahem, I know, I know -- I was not always the sea-faring, handsome scallywag that I am today. I was just simply ... handsome. But my lads, you've got to start somewhere. Anyone can be a pirate if you've got the heart and soul to do whatever you please! Loot ships, pillage and plunder, sail the seas, loot some more, buy fashionable freedom gear with said loot, gather the most beautiful of the female creatures (looking at you, love). Ah, a pirate's life for me! Rather a cause for celebration, no?
Eh? The aforementioned freedom gear? Yes, yes, at the peddlers. Why don't you tidy yourself up, purchase said garments, so you can appear somewhat presentable next to me?
Indeed, that was an invite. You see, to express our deep love for piracy, my mates and I have stolen-- er, "received" a shipment of fireworks from China. At the top of every hour, these beautiful sparklers will light up the sky! And we can watch from the muggy shores of Tortuga, Port Royal, or Padres del Fuego. Refuse to associate with other scallywags? There'll be a perfect view from the deck of your ship, too.
If lady luck smiles upon us, we may also run into those so-called "Game Masters.” I hear they distribute a form of special treasure called "redeem codes” to those fortunate enough to…--
...Oh, you are busy tonight? No matter! You have from June 30th to July 6th to free up your schedule; surely you'll find time to appreciate the lawless life with little ol' Jesse.
I'll see you then, love,
Jesse Tidus, Your Most Captivating Freebooter